A fan site dedicated to the worst product from the U of M

Last night I decided to use my free movie passes and see Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the next comedy movie from the Apatow crew (Ron Burgundy, 40-Year Old Virgin, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Knocked Up, Superbad).  Pineapple Express was featured in the previews and looks like another good comedy (also an Apatow production), the song in the trailer is “Paper Planes” by MIA, which I guess has been a source of some news due to its censorship.  Blah blah, who cares, but I don’t understand why MTV censors gunshots in songs, but CBS can show gun shots during all their CSI shows.  Anyway, moving on.

Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis are both smoking hot.  Russel Brand plays an amazing English rockstar, even though he reminds of CT from the Real World.  Bill Hader adds hsi great comedic style.  Jason Segel, good actor, just a little too much male genitalia showing.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is another great comedy.  The only issues that I had with it was that it dragged on, the ending was predictable, and there was too much male nudity.  My 2 favorite lines from the movie:

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Brian: You don’t need to put your P in a V right now.
Peter Bretter: No, I need to B my L on someone’s T’s.

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Dwayne the Bartender: Snuffleupagous fucks my shit up!

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(8.5 / 10)

In case you haven’t heard, Brady Arneson from Red Wing, MN was named the winner of this year’s coveted Minnesota Mullet Contest. The 3-year old trailer parker can be seen below.

Amazing mullet’s must run in Arneson’s family genes, because his brother captured the prize in 2005.  Yes I am serious. Star Tribune Article

This is a very interesting report done by KSTP regarding the numerous drowning deaths in the midwest since 2000.  The deaths did seem freakishly connected.  http://kstp.com/article/stories/S421846.shtml?cat=1?

I can’t stand Al Pacino movies, but the previews for this one had me interested.  Too many women in it.  Also can’t stand Leelee Sobieski acting, she seems way to fake.  Pacino is terrible.  No gore.  No horror.  No surprise.  No jumping out of your seat.  It’s like a soft and gentle ride on the train around Bay Beach Park.  Don’t rush to see it.  This movie is the reason for the BWD scale.

(4 / 10)

The trade to draft Tyrell Johnson was very nice. Mr. Sharper is getting old (37 maybe) so we need to start looking for a replacement. BUT PLEASE!!! Make another F’n trade and get Brohm or Henne. I don’t know who’s better. BUT GET A QB!!

Thank you.

Some of you may know that I have an uncanny ability to get predictions correct. I called the Favre retirement, Heston’s death in 2008, a certain something that will happen in July, and many many more. So now I will tell you who will win the 2008 Presidential Election.

John Sidney McCain III

Yeah, that’s right. The Dems some how lose the 2nd straight election that was theirs to win. Idiots.

You don’t believe me?!?  I Craigslist’d it today.

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/bfs/653667636.html

kudos, props, and shout out to fifth element for getting the new atmosphere album, When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold, in my mailbox one day before the official release.  alright, let’s go through the tracks.

1. Like the Rest of Us – i really don’t know what to say, but i like it.
2. Puppets – as i mention later on another track, there aren’t many artists (especially hip-hop artists) who can do a song with barely any beat.  drums kick in about 2/3rds of the way through, but more the majority of the song, its just him and the piano.
3. The Skinny – dark beat. dark lyrics. classic sluggo.
4. Dreamer – alright, every track sounds like it’s being played by a band, and it sounds great.  this is my 3rd or 4th favorite on the album.
5. Shoulda Known – the first single off the album (if independent labels have singles).  great beat.  great flow.  this one you can bump in the car.  “i’ve got a restraining order against satan’s daughter / and I keep it at the bottom of this Jameson and water”
6. You – I don’t like the intro, it’s the beat of come shitty 70’s or 80’s song.  Really can’t stand it.  Shit, is that the Fraggle Rock beat?  Oh jesus, what was Ant thinking.  Hopefully it grows on me.
7. Painting – My favorite song on the album
8. Your Glasshouse -
9. Yesterday -
10. Guarantees – It’s hard to get used to Slug singing, he has a bit of a Anthony Kiedis sounding voice.  But how many other hip-hop artists can pull of a song with only a guitar…..besides 2Pac, post-mortem.  Great chill song.
11. Me -
12. Wild Wild Horses -
13. Can’t Break -
14. The Waitress -
15. In Her Music Box – i see why they call it “music box,” it sounds like there’s a girl’s music box bring played over the beat.  no need to lie, it’s annoying.  UPDATE – Alright, after watching the DVD, I’m starting to like this one.  I don’t know why.  Sean just knows how to perform.

one of the reason why I list atmosphere as my favorite artist is because you can put in any of their albums and listen to it intro to outro.  it is extremely difficult to find this same characteristic in other hip-hop albums.  this album can be listened to from track 1 to 15.  like most atmosphere songs, the beats are chill and the flow is slow and smooth.  perfect for driving, chilling at the house, or in the background will drinking or doing something else with friends.  while no one song stands out in my mind, it’s a great album.  i can’t use the BWD rating system for this, i’ll give the album alone a 4/5, but comine the album with the dvd and book and the way the whole deluxe edition was packaged, a 6/5.  i haven’t heard of another artist doing anything like this.  and that’s why atmosphere is the best.

I pre-ordered Atmosphere’s new album last week and it should arrive on Monday or Tuesday.  When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold is a 15-track album, 40-page gold embossed hard cover book featuring an illustrated children’s story written by Slug, and bonus DVD with over an hour of live footage and extras.  Yeah, I’m pumped.  This is my first CD purchase since……..Nas’s Hip Hop is Dead and………….some CD that must have sucked.  Full review to come later in the week.

I was able to find some spare time on Saturday during my hangover to watch The Bank Job, starring the one guy with an english accent who was in Snatch and the Transporter and the other movie where he is poisened and goes nuts during the whole thing.  Yeah, that guy.  Shaved head.  Scruffy beard.  Him.  This movie isn’t anything special.  It’s no Oceans 11 or The Score.  But the thing that makes this movie worth watching, is that it is a true story.  Knowing that, the movie is pretty F’n unbelievable.  It’s not a must see, but it is still quite good.

(7/10)

Trevor Immelman recently won the Masters this past week.  The next day I think he was on David Letterman talking about his win.  This is the Top Ten List from the show.  I especially like numbers 7 and 1.  Speaking of which, Paul Casey makes me angry.  His blow-up on Sunday singlehandedly cost me from winning my office pool.  79?  Come on…talk about choking.  It didn’t help that all 6 of my guys combined to go +19.  Oh well, at least I kicked my friends butts. 

“WAYS TREVOR IMMELMAN’S LIFE HAS CHANGED SINCE WINNING THE MASTERS” 

10. I’ve been elevated from “Unknown” to “Obscure.” 

9. Thanks to the prize money, I no longer have to buy generic root beer.

8. Suddenly I don’t look so foolish for trademarking “Immelmania.” 

7. I’m BFF’s with Lauren and Heidi from “The Hills.”

6. President Bush called to congratulate me on winning Wimbledon. 

5. When my caddie recommends a club I can say, “Excuse me, how many Masters have you won?” 

4. Invited to Masters Winners Week on “Jeopardy.”

3. I get a lifetime supply of them little pencils.

2. Guess who’s playing 36 holes with the Pope this weekend?

1. Get to put my arm around Tiger Woods and say, “Maybe next year.”

PictureMeRollin…

theFlash

Welcome to another new segment of RickRickert.com – Movie Reviews.  RickRickert uses the BWD rating system (Big White Douche) which grades movies on a scale of 1 through 10.

This weekend I watched two flicks in the comfort of my home, Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead and Cloverfield.  I had never heard of BTDKYD, but it was rated a 7.6 on IMDB.  On the other hand, Cloverfield was a movie that I had wanted to see.

Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead
Stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Marisa Tomei, and the lawyer from Erin Brockovich.

SPOILER – DON’T READ IF YOU PLAN TO WATCH THE MOVIE - I read too much on IMDB before watching the movie.  I wasn’t familiar with the term Filicide, so I looked up the definion, which basically ruined the movie.  Thanks IMDB – SPOILING COMPLETE.

Even though I ruined the movie by researching it, I still really enjoyed it.  Philip Seymour Hoffman creeps me out no matter what roll he plays.  Marisa Tomei, wow, hot, yes, yes, wow, jesus, 43 years old, unbelievable, good for her, my new favorite acress, get her in more movies.  The movie is rated R mostly because of her.  Thank you casting director.

Two brothers organize the robbery of their parents’ jewelery store, but the job goes horribly wrong, triggering a series of events that sends them, their father and one brother’s wife hurtling towards a shattering climax.  How great is that.  Somehow they want us to believe that Hoffman and Hawke are brothers.  Good try.

I don’t want to give more away.

(7.5/10)

Cloverfield
Cloverfield is the much hyped JJ Abrams Blair With / Godzilla-like monster movie.  During the first weekend of the release, many theaters posted signs warning guests that the hand held camera movements may cause motion sickness.  In Cloverfield, you get a love story combined with a giant monster creature thing destroying all of New York.  I really liked this movie.  I liked the use of neverheard of actors, I liked the story being told from the actor’s viewpoint, I liked the non-stop action.  I hated two things.  1) I hated Hud.  I couln’t stand him and much of the things he said.  Hee made me want to throw my computer at a freakin brick wall .  2) The ending.  God I hate endings that leave you wanting more.  At the end I wanted a 15-minute documentary telling me more about the creature, whether anybody lived, was the military able to kill the creature, are there more creatures…. AHHHHH  I NEED MORE INFO!  The thing I loved most about this movie was while watching it, I was in awe of how it was made.  Everything just looks so amazing and awesome and real.  These movie people are amazing.

(8/10)

I’m starting a new segment here on Rick Rickert.com called, “You know what makes me mad?”  The point of the segment is pretty self-explanatory, I’ll be discussing things that upset me and cause bitterness. 

You know what makes me mad?  I went to Kohl’s this past weekend (or it could have been two weekends ago, I can’t remember) to take advantage of a sale they were having on socks.  Buy 1 pack and get a second pack 50% off.  Good deal right?  And it was perfect because I needed new black socks for work.  Anyway, I bought some Access kind which I had purchassed in the past and been satistied.  I brought them home and put them in the closet in the corner.  I had just done laundry so I didn’t need to open them yet.  So, a week or so passes and it leads to today.  I open up the package because I needed socks this morning.  Much to my shagrin, when I put the socks on, I discovered they were knee highs.  And I hate knee highs.  They get too hot in the summer and irritate the hairs on my legs (socks and leg hair are another thing that makes me mad…after wearing socks, your legs always itch).  I was upset and decided to check the package to see if it could have been my own fault, if I had not seen the label clearly marked, “Knee-High.”  The answer was no.  Access had not put anywhere on their package if these socks were knee high.  What the f, right?  How could a company manufacture a package of three knee-high socks and not state anywhere on the outside if they were knee-high or not??? 

Not correctly labeling whether or not a package of socks are knee-high or not is what makes me mad.  And because of my laziness, I am now stuck with three pairs of black knee-high socks.  I feel like a 70 year old retired man who walks around in a wife-beater, shorts and black-knee highs.  Very, very classy look.

PictureMeRollin…

theFlash

This article is definitely in the Onion’s top 5. Read it and try not to laugh.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

Bye Bye Charlton Heston….Hello First Place!!

OK, this was a bit shocking, but it appears John McCain has acknowledged The Hills’ Heidi Montag’s endorsement for President. 

“I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of ‘The Hills,’ especially since the new season started.”

http://www.time-blog.com/swampland/2008/04/swampland_exclusive_mccain_rea.html

 

I was already leaning in his direction already….this puts him over the top.  And don’t anybody say, “I was over the top of your mom last night.”

PictureMeRollin…

theFlash

There Is No Gas Shortage

This is a great read.  Read it.