A fan site dedicated to the worst product from the U of M

I scored the work tickets for Sunday’s showdown against the Brewers.  What a game.  But before I get into that, I discovered the Cox of the Cox and Dodge fund is investing in shitty auto dealers in middle Wisconsin.

Back to the game.  The seats are located directly behind the camera guy who sets up left on the 3rd base side of the Twins dugout.  Kevin Slowey was on the mound.

Twins won 5-0.  Kevin Slowey got the win and post game interview.

I got Jeff Cirillo’s cell phone number.

This guy got a sweet haircut.

This guy had to wear his Brad Farve jersey.

And this guy wore latex gloves to the game.

Expect the weirdest shit when Wisconsiners are in town.

1 part Vodka

2 parts Mountain Dew

Drink

Throw an Interceptionn

Repeat

Watch out for any guys wearing a shirt with a deep v-neck, now being labeled as the “douchebag neck.”  I don’t own one, hopefully never will.

Today is NBA draft day.  And with it brings us only one question…how will Kevin McHale screw up the T-Wolves this year?  Will it be a trade down?  Will it be a pass on Beasley?  Will it be Kevin Love over O.J. Mayo at # 3?  Take a look at the picture above.  Can you believe THAT guy is running an NBA basketball team?  Kevin Love even has his reservations (although he claims he admired McHale growing up).  Rose is out of the question; the Bulls are going to take him.  Miami is uncertain if they want Beasley and might grab Mayo at 2, or try to trade down and still take Mayo or Jerrod Bayless.  If Beasley is there at 3, obviously the Wolves need to take him.  He will be a beast working with Big Al and may clear out some space in the lane with his solid jumper.  In all honesty, he won’t be there.  With that in mind, the Wolves need to take Mayo at # 3.  He has the most upside of the guys left and he’s not a tall white American (name the last tall white American basketball player to have a huge impact in the NBA…it’s not possible because there are none).  Knowing McHale and his love (no pun intended) for players that remind him of himself, he will select Love.  I think he’ll try to trade down, but if he can’t find the right deal and is not guaranteed that Love will be there at his new spot, he will draft him outright at 3.  This is moronic.  Love may turn out to be a solid player, but if you have the third pick in the draft, you should be getting a guy who has a chance to be an All-Star someday and transform your team.  I believe Mayo can do this…Love cannot.  I know the Wolves have a glut of guards, but I’ve always been of the ideal that you should never draft based on need.  Take the best available player.  Mayo has a killer jump shot and plays good defense (at least in the 2nd half of the season last year).  He could also play a little point when paired with Foye in the backcourt.  Teams cannot double Al with Mayo throwing him the ball or they will pay.  I know comparing football to basketball is dumb, but the Vikes took the best available player with AD when they had Chester Taylor and that has seemed to work out well.  McHale…I plead with you…don’t take Love…please.

It’s an all Wolves day today on RickRickert.com.  The team also unveiled a new secondary logo today which I like.  New jerseys will follow in August (it’s about time, the ones they have now are ugly as sin).

PictureMeRollin…

theFlash

I had a good chuckle tonight while reading this StarTrib article.  Some high school guy wrote the following in his scholarship essay, “I was one of those kids you would look at and shake your head no. Thoughts would run through your mind like he will be dead or in jail by the time he’s 18.”  He was going to receive a scholarship from the Page Foundation, started by Minnesota Supreme Court Justice Alan Page, which seeks to inspire young people of color to positively influence younger children by offering mentoring and financial aid for college in exchange for their volunteer service.  Anyway, this guy is 2 months shy of his 18th birthday, and take a guess at what happens.  He’s been charged 4 sexual assaults that took place AT HIS HIGH SCHOOL!   What’s wrong with this fucking country?

Are you 5-popped collars cool?  Probably not.

Rather funny Headlines from Jay Leno.  I LOL’d a handful of times.

All right, fuckos. It’s time to come clean.

Don’t even pretend like you don’t know what this is about, because I deserve a little more goddamn respect than that. I go to all the trouble of giving you delicious, healthy, butter- flavored spreads so your family can come together for once in your miserable lives and smile and laugh and sit around a picnic basket full of blueberry muffins, and you pull this shit? Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out? Well, Q1 earnings are in, and apparently one of you 42.7 million Country Crock–consuming motherfuckers decided it was high time to jump ship.

Continue reading at TheOnion.

I managed to get in on a US Open pool at the last minute yesterday.  We seperate the top 60 golfers into 6 pools, and 1 must be selected from each, then you can pick 2 wild cards that are not in the top 60.  These are my picks, and I will track them as the tourney progresses.

Pool 1: Sergio Garcia
Pool 2: Stewart Cink
Pool 3: Justin Leonard
Pool 4: Mike Weir
Pool 5: Jerry Kelly
Pool 6: Nick Dougherty
Wild Card: Daniel Chopra
Wild Card: Rich Beem

One of my readers complained about the lack of original content on the site.  So I’m introducing a new game called “Spot the D-Bag.” It’s fairly easy.  You look at a picture, point at a person in it, LOL, and say “What a D-Bag!”  Alright, let’s play!

I could be behind with the times, I have no idea.  I came across the Flobots on Slacker the other day.  I acquired their album and I think I’m a fan.  Here’s their video for Handlebars, their most popular song.

I think I’m going to stay a fan, unless they’re emo or a bunch of other people like them like Lewis, then I’ll probably delete this post and pretend it never happened.  Yeah, that’s how I roll.

Capian Productions has leaked Seif-Z/Jay-fert’s debut track Heatbreaker.  Take a listen, if you dare.  Hopefully the next track they release is “Ode to Natty Ice.”

Seif – Heartbreaker

Yeah, this is pretty disgusting.  36MM.  Sounds like a gun.  Sick.  Disgusting.  There’s no way anyone can find this attractive.  Why would a doctor do this?  I apologize 100% for posting this.  Actually, I’m not going to post the picture. It’s that bad.  If you want to see it, then click here.  You’ve been fore warned.

Just think about the things this lady can’t do.  Fasten a seat belt, ride a rollercoaster, swing a golf club, sit down at a table, do a sit-up or a push-up, sleep on her back? …. Any other ideas on what she can’t do?

theFlash loves watching The Soup, he rated it as his 2nd favorite show behind The Hills.

Last night I had a hard time sleeping becaus I couldn’t figure out what happened to Barry Bonds.  Where has he been? Why haven’t the Twins picked him up as a DH?  Is he still doing steroids?  Will he file a defimation lawsuit against me for that last sentence?

Well, I found him.  Skip ahead to 0:40 where you’ll see some guys flapping and swinging their arms around like a bunch of physically challenged d-bags.  Then at 0:45 Barry Bonds appears at stage right wearing an Ecto-Cooler shirt.  Then at 0:49 Barry Bonds displays his god-like baseball swing for the masses.  F’ing amazing

After lunch today we had a rather rousing discussion about Smart Cars (pictured above), since a few have been spotted around town.  Our discussing mainly focused on crash tests, comfort, storage, gas efficiency numbers, and performance in snow.  Since Chucker didn’t research it like he said he would, I did.  Below is a video of the Smart Car’s crash test.  At 2:20 they get it up to 70 mph and crashed into 20-tons of concrete block…..and while it appears to get obliterated, it actually holds up kinda well.

These cars start at $17,000, are about 100 inches in length and designed to achieve 33 city/41 highway mpg according to 2008 EPA standards (the gas tank of the smart fortwo is 8.7 gallons).  The majority of the smart’s weight (engine and transaxle) is over the driven wheels resulting in better traction overall. Wider rear wheels and tires allow for better grip and traction in marginal weather conditions. Narrower front wheels and tires allow for less traction loss by penetrating into snow and ice deeper for improved steering control. All smart fortwo vehicles come standard with all season tires. Surprisingly, the fortwo has 8 cubic feet of storage space – 12 feet if you load up to the roof line. This area can easily fit numerous bags of groceries, gym bags and other items that are commonly transported every day, including golf clubs! The rear storage area can also accommodate many sizes of luggage making trips to the airport convenient. The front passenger seat also folds down creating additional space for other items such as skis.

Here’s a link to the Smart Car website.

In a power race to take down the likes of Alexi Casilla and Adam Everett, Joe Mauer hit his FIRST home run of the season last night in the Twins’ 6-5 win over the Yankees.  Mauer went on to say after the game, “It’s about time,” and “the biggest thing is to get [Adam] Everett off my back.”  I am continually amazed that Mauer can’t hit more home runs; the guy is 6-5 220.  You would think he would get lucky once in awhile.  If you are keeping track at home, that’s 6 GDPs (Ground into Double Plays) and 1 HR for Minnesota’s “Second Coming.” 

Here is an updated Twins HR Leaderboard: