A fan site dedicated to the worst product from the U of M

For all of you that opted not to attend the 2nd Rick Rickert Golf Outing of 2008, you fucking missed out.

Once again I took 2nd place, but I would say that the most entertaining part was the group of kids behind us.  Whether they were hitting Chelsey’s ball or hitting on Chelsey or telling us amazing stories of their lives or hitting us with “That’s what she said,” these kids made our 7 holes much more entertaining.   The course was entertaining.  The participants were fantastic.  Hopefully next time I can come in first.

It appears that those giddy little Brewers fans are headed towards another playoff-less season.  After Tuesday’s loss they’re 3 games behind the Cubs and only a game ahead of the Cards for the wildcard.  This is really their only good year to make a run.

And the website Pee Your Pants for the Brewers could be the gayest thing ever created.  Gay.  It’s nice to see people getting excited about making the playoffs.  PLAYOFFS!!?!?!!  PLAYOFFS!?!??!?!  Instead of peeing their pants, maybe they should do some good and create good karma for the team.  Like….not drink shitty beer for a whole weekend….or not get drunk and shot the lawnmower…..

From the Milwaukee JS

Milwaukee man shoots lawn mower when it won’t start
He faces felony charge of possessing short-barreled shotgun
By Crocker Stephenson
July 25, 2008

A 57-year-old south side man, who might have been struggling with a hangover, was charged Friday with shooting his lawn mower with a sawed-off shotgun.

“I’ll tell you the truth,” a criminal complaint quotes an apparently inebriated Keith Walendowski. “I got pissed because my lawn mower wouldn’t start, so I got my shotgun and shot it.

“I can do that. It’s my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want,” Walendowski told police.

Ignorance of the law, however, is not a legal defense.

Walendowski is charged with a felony count of possessing a short-barreled shotgun and a misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct while armed. If convicted of both charges, he faces up to six years and nine months in prison.

The shooting occurred Wednesday at a home Walendowski shares with his mother in the 3500 block of S. Austin St.

According to the complaint, Walendowski had been drinking all morning. Around 9:30 a.m., he attempted to start his 21-inch Lawn-Boy — unsuccessfully.

After shooting the mower, he went in his basement, where he was arrested by police, the complaint says.

Police recovered the shotgun, shells, a handgun, rounds for the handgun and a stun gun.

Dick Wagner of Wagner’s Garden Mart, 6075 N. Green Bay Ave.in Glendale, said shooting the mower didn’t help Walendowski’s odds of getting it repaired.

“Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty,” he said.

I’m watching the Dark Knight flick.  I’m 40 minutes in and seriously considering not watching the rest.  I’m as bored as a pedophile in an old folks home.  My parents raised me to not be a quiter, so I guess I’ll try to watch it to the end.

F’n bored.  Starting falling asleep an hour and fifty minutes in….i give it a 2.

I know these are from last year, but they are still funny.  And Dane Cook is still a douchebag.  The NLCS is better.

For those who haven’t heard, Johnny Jolly, the giant defensive lineman for the Packers was arrested a few weeks back for having over 200 grams of liquid codeine.  First off, I have no idea how much 200 grams of a liquid is, so I thought this was no big deal.  We then found out that it was found in his soda bottle during a traffic stop.  Awesome. If you weren’t born on the streets, you might not know that we have a term for this drink.  Purple Drank, but can also go by sizzurp, lean, syrup, drank, and purple stuff (different from the purple stuff in the Sunny D commercials).  So why am I writing about this? Because of the amazing pictures that result if you do a Google Image search for purple drank.

*Rickety Rickert does not promote drug use, or purple stuff use.

Why the fuck does NBA Summer League basketball exist?!?  The damn season doesn’t start until September!!  Next, lets look at some of the players on the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Drew Neitzel – At least he was good in college, but I don’t see any NBA potential, unless a team is looking for a John Stockton.

Pooh Jeter – Who?

Longar Longar – Yeah, seriously.  And Minnesota is listed as his college.  I don’t recall him being on the Gopher’s roster, maybe he played for Winona.

Vincent Grier – I liked Vincent at Minnesota.  He got us into the NCAA Tourney for the first time since 1947.  He got us there on his ability to drive the basket and make incredibly ugly shots.  BUT HE HAS NO JUMP SHOT!

Dan Coleman – I hate Dan Coleman.  He wasn’t a leader at Minnesota.  He has a terrible shot.  He doesn’t play with emotion.  He sucks.

Dan Fitzgerald – We know that Kevin McHale loves slow white players.  But seriously, this is a lanky slow white basketball player.  Perfect for Euroland.

This is just looking at one team, check these other people playing in the Summer League.

Speedy Claxton (great name), Brian Randle (Illinois), Pape Sow (huh?), Errick Craven (a new way to spell Eric), Scooter McFadgon, Ndudi Ebi (FUCKING IBI DIBI IS PLAYING!!), JamesOn Curry (is it pronounced like Jameson or JAMES-on?), James Augustine (ex-Illini, won’t play in the NBA), D’or Fischer (D’or, like Dior?), Antywane Robinson (Anti-wan?  That’s not a name)

What has 1 thumb and would love to have a 3-some with Will Smith and Vin Diesel??

This Guy

It appears the same little boy has a barnyard animal fetish.

And look at what he wore to the first day of school.

If I had pictures like this, I probably wouldn’t display them proudly on the internets.  Thanks Prune.

18 points.  13 rebounds

The Real Deal

Don’t Hate McNamara

And that’s how you Drunk Stack

From theOnion

ALPENA, MI—Ted Nugent held a press conference Monday to unveil his new signature fragrance “Heartland,” which the veteran rocker touted as the most extensively tested cologne in history. “We tested that sumbitch on ferrets, weasels, deer, elk, squirrels, bison, trout, crickets, gibbons, iguanas, donkeys, capybaras, koalas, hyenas, penguins, woodpeckers—every goddamn animal we could find,” Nugent said. “And, just to be extra-certain it was safe for consumer use, we injected it into a kitten’s bloodstream, sprayed it on otters with open wounds that we inflicted, and forced cows to drink it through their nose. We also squirted it in a duck’s eyes. Then we ran out of cologne and just started punching the duck.” The cologne, now available in stores, features an ivory bottle stopper and comes in a genuine tiger-skin pouch.

Courtesy of WBAY

APPLETON — An Appleton couple was awakened in the wee hours of the morning Wednesday to the sound of a burglar whistling in their basement.

Then events really got strange: The man was discovered wearing the couple’s clothes and covered with barbecue sauce.

The homeowner grabbed an unloaded shotgun, confronted the intruder and ordered him upstairs, where he held him at gunpoint until police arrived, according to the criminal complaint.

Aaron M. Maurice, 35, 300 E. Fremont St., was wearing the woman’s jacket and the man’s hat and explained “he was in the military and that someone had tipped off the FBI that (he) was providing secrets to the terrorists.”

He told the police that the barbecue sauce, taken from the couple’s refrigerator, was “an urban disguise, if you will.”

Maurice was charged Wednesday in Outagamie County Circuit Court with one count of burglary and placed on a $1,000 cash bond by Court Commissioner Maureen Roberts Budiac, who required Maurice to report three times a week to the sheriff’s department day report center after he posts bond.

Defense attorney Gene Bartman noted that there were “inexplicable reasons” that motivated Maurice and that “we should not jail some who maybe has mental health issues.”

Budiac scheduled further proceedings for July 10.  Shucks.

I kicked back in St Paul on Sunday night, had a 40, and listened to the shitty sounds of Eddie Money. I also listened to the voicemail message that the Jeff Cirillo left me over the weekend. We discussed Regis (Regis sucks because they block this amazing website). I forget what else was talked about, but there was alot. If you missed it, you might also suck as much as Regis. Sorry.

I spent most of Sunday watching the Wimbledon Finals, aka The Greatest Tennis Match in the History of Tennis Matches.  I’m cheering for Federer and writing this with the match tied 7-7 in the 5th set.  This is one of those times where you wish there wouldn’t have to be a loser because both of these guys played amazingly all day long (I think the match has been going on for close to 7 hours).  And as I’m writing this, Nadal had two break chances and blew it.  Nadal will eventually take over Federer as the best player in the world, but I want Roger to win this last Wimbledon title.  Go Roger!   Current playing time 4 hours 41 minutes…Nadal serving, up 8-7 in the last set…….not looking good.  I don’t Roger has broken Nadal’s serve at all today.  The ting that amazed me the most during the match, Roger Federer doesn’t sweat.