A fan site dedicated to the worst product from the U of M

1. Weightlifting commentator: ‘This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.’

2. Dressage commentator: ‘This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.’

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: ‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.’

4. Boxing Analyst: ‘Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.’

5. Softball announcer: ‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.’

6. Basketball analyst: ‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.’

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: ‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.’

8. Soccer commentator: ‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.’

9. Tennis commentator: ‘One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?’

I FEEL LIKE I’M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!  Am I the only person who doesn’t find the US Women’s Beach Volleyball duo of Walsch/May-Treanor drop dead hot?  May-Treanor is fine, but the other thing is not.  She looks like a 40-year old Holocaust survivor on crack.

Am I wrong?

On that note, some website put together a list of the 50 Hottest Female Olympians for 2008.  Almost all of these ladies are very very attractive, but there are a few problems.  Nastia should not be at #33, she is top 3 material.  Dara Torres at #30 is just disgusting.  Walsch should not be #19.  And Amanda Beard at #5 is the most terrible ranking in the list.

For your viewing pleasure.  Me and a bird

Click for full image, if you’re daring.

Nastia looks so sad in the background.

It’s that time again. Now while I don’t play FF, I do play a game where we need team names. Here I will list my top my ideas for the 2008-2009 Football Season

• Alabaster Ass Blasters
• Napa Valley Cork Soakers
• Mighty Moose Knuckles
• Nappy Headed Hoes
• Sara’s Nightly Fantasy
• Chi-town Chicken ‘pons
• Throwin D’s, Smackin B’s
• Wahlquist Motorboat Club

Feel free to submit your own ideas

Prize: TBD

Without further ado, I bring you the AL East Preview….

1.  I’m going to out on a limb here and say the Tampa Bay Rays are going to win the division.  I really think Evan Longoria is going to emerge into an All-Star in his first year and the rotation should be solid with Kazmir, Shields and Matty Garza.  Hell, I’ll even say they are going to flirt with the best record in MLB for awhile.  They are that good.  Joe Maddon will win the Manager of the Year award.

2.  New York Yankees – This team will probably struggle in the first half of the year until they finally realize they are all getting paid WAY too much and will turn it around near the All-Star Break.  Jorge Posada will probably get hurt, but the Yanks always find a way to make a deal.  They’ll probably go out and get a replacement like Pudge Rodriguez or something.  Two more predictions:  A-Rod will get divorced because he’s been messing around with Madonna and Jason Giambi will grow a wicked ’stache.  (You can actually see the steroids rippling in his veins….gross)

3.  Boston Red Sox - A year removed from another world championship, this team will have a disappointing year by their standards by finishing a game out of the wild card spot.  I predict too many disruptions.  Manny will be Manny and will take the focus off the team onto himself.  He will force a trade and the Sox will gladly oblige, sending him packing for a guy like Jason Bay.  Although a guy like Bay is good, he is not Manny Ramirez.  Boston will not recover and will slide a touch after the deadline.  Oh yeah, David Ortiz will be hurt for most of the first half of the season.

4.  Baltimore Orioles - George Sherril…who?  This guy will dominate as a closer in his first year with the team after being traded by the Mariners for the disappointing Erik Bedard (who will be hurt in Seattle).  Exceeding expectations, this team will be excited heading into 2009.

5.  Toronto Blue Jays – Roy Halladay is good (I’d say 7 complete games by the All-Star break and another 4 after).  The rest of the team is not good.

theFlash looks like he’s on record pace for postings today, so I better jump in an make one.  Back in March I gave you my American League predictions (I only did this because theFlash is still working on his AL East preview write-up).  Here’s what I predicted, compared to the actual standings.

I was completely incorrect about Matt Garza and those Rays, the Indians, Twins and White Sox.  The only teams I was really close on are the Angels and Red Sox.  There’s still 1/4 or so of the season left.  Should get interesting.

How sweet was the Twins game last night? Although I was a little disappointed the team didn’t make a move at the trade deadline, at least they were able to take 3 of 4 from the division leading White Sox and pull to within 0.5 games. I really don’t know how this team keeps winning. If I’m the other team’s manager, I would never, ever pitch to “Jason” Morneau with runners in scoring position (unless the bases were loaded and you had to). I’d make the rest of team beat you. This guy is on quite the tear right now. He hits pretty much anything thrown near the strike zone; inside, he’ll jack a HR or double; outside, single up the middle or squirted to left. Unbelievable is all I can say. Two more things and I’ll be done. One, how much longer until Hernandez is given his walking papers and Mr. Liriano is called up? Enough already! Get better from within if you are not going to make a trade. Two, KUBEL SMASH!!!! 

PictureMeRollin…

theFlash

Wow….Steve Nash can really do the robot.