A fan site dedicated to the worst product from the U of M

I guess I’m the only person who hasn’t seen this video.

Big Fucking Game Tonight.  This is the 3rd must win game for the Gophers this year.  They pulled off a great loss during last weeks must win game against Purdue.

Problems

• Guarding McCamey – At 6′3″ 205lbs, Demetri is 3 inches taller then Westbrook and 30 pounds heavier than Nolen and Jospeh.  Will McCamey go into the post and work Westbrook down low?  Hopefully not.  And hopefully Westbrook can stay out of foul trouble.
• Guarding Mike Tisdale – At 7′1″, he’s 2-3″ taller than the Gophers’ twin towers.  Being a sophmore, he also has more experience than the Gopher centers.  This will be a key match-up.  At least we have 2 guys to throw at him.
• Shooting – The Gophers have shot like crap the 3 games, that needs to improve.  Either by shooting better or by benching the players who can’t hit a shot right now.

It’s going to be an exciting game.  I think Nolen needs to play like he did the other night, driving to the bucket and dishing off underneath to Sampson, Iverson or Johnson.  That will lead to easy buckets and hopefully foul trouble for Tisdal and Mike Davis.  Westbrook needs to play smart, smart, smart defense.  Don’t over pursue, don’t try to get steals.  Just stay in front of McCamey and make him work hard.

GO GOPHERS!

I’ve got twon songs for you. First is B.o.B’s I’ll Be in the Sky.  This song is great, it’s got that Outkast 10 years ago feel to it.  The guy has a great voice and I like what the piano brings to the song.

The next song is Lil’ Wayne’s Let the Beat Build. I’m kind of a fan of Lil’ Wayne.  He tends to be on a lot of good songs, but he giggles too much, I can’t stand him using an auto-tuner, and he makes up some of the dumbest lines possible.  Let the Beat Build features very few giggles, has a good beat, and doesn’t feature anyone using an auto-tuner.

I realize that I come from the state that has elected Jesse Ventura and Al Franken (I didn’t vote for either).  But if there was ever one person in the entertainment industry that I would support 100% it would be Chris Rock.  The man gives good interviews and he seems to understand the world.  Seriously, the guy should give monthly hour long interviews on HBO.  From CNN.com

CNN: I watched the special last night, and I noticed that you did a lot of jokes about John McCain — his age, his war hero story — but not so many about Barack Obama. Is it harder to make fun of Obama?

Chris Rock: He’s just one of those guys, you know, like Will Smith. There’s no Will Smith jokes. There’s no Brad Pitt jokes. You know, what are you going to say? “Ooh, you used to have sex with Jennifer Anniston. Now you have sex with Angelina Jolie. You’re such a loser.” What do you say? “Ooh, your movies are big. You make $20 million.” There’s nothing to say about Brad Pitt.

CNN: Why is Obama like that?

Rock: It’s like “Ooh, you’re young and virile and you’ve got a beautiful wife and kids. You’re the first African-American president.” You know, what do you say?

CNN: As time goes on do you think it will get easier?

Rock: Of course, as time goes on. At some point he’s going to — there’s always slip-ups. No one can survive that level of scrutiny without occasionally making it easy for a comedian.

CNN: Let’s talk about the inauguration. Are you going?

Rock: No, I have to go to Sundance [Film Festival]. I’ve got a movie premiering at Sundance. So I have to go to the whitest place in America — Utah.

CNN: What’s it going to be like for you on Inauguration Day?

Rock: It’ll be a cool day. It’s weird. I’ve never watched an inauguration. I’ve never watched anyone get sworn in. You know, it’s like Election Day and then you look up and somebody else is the president two months later. It was never like, “I can’t wait till tomorrow. Oh my god! They’re going to swear in Jimmy Carter!”

CNN: Are you going to watch this one, though?

Rock: I’ll put it this way — like any business is going to be getting done while this guy is getting sworn in. Like I’m going to be in a meeting. Everything is going to stop for however long it takes. Hope they get to it — hope it’s not like I gotta listen to three different versions of “The Star-Spangled Banner” or something. I hope it’s not like Rosa Parks’ funeral, where everybody f***ing speaks.

CNN: What are you hoping Barack Obama does for this country? What do you think is his most important task?

Rock: You know, if you’re the president you only have two jobs: peace and money. That’s it. I mean, it’s like, what did Clinton do? We were at peace and we had a budget surplus. That’s it. That’s the gig. The closer you get us to those two goals, you know, that’s pretty much the gig. Is that too much to ask for?

CNN: At one point in your act, you said, “Racism will never die. It will only multiply.” Why do you believe that?

Rock: Well, it’s never going to die. Maybe it won’t multiply. Is racism going to end? No.

It’s not even race. People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That’s just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad, man.

CNN: How was it different playing for an audience in Africa?

Rock: You know it’s weird — it really wasn’t that different. I mean, that’s why I love this special. People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren’t, they wouldn’t laugh at the same s**t. If they were so different they wouldn’t know what I was talking about.

CNN: Stand-up comics I’ve talked to in the past say they like their shows to appear spontaneous. But your new DVD stitches together three shows, illustrating to the audience how scripted comedy can be. Why did you decide on that format?

Rock: You know, I don’t believe in that “come up with stuff on the spot.” I mean, honestly, that’s why I think comedy, stand-up comedy, always plays such a back seat to music.

Like, would you go see a singer if you thought he just came up with the songs? They wouldn’t give out Grammys for songs that they just came up with. You’re going to go see someone at Radio City or Madison Square Garden, I think you’d like to know that they have an act before you spend $75.

So yeah, when you say “came up with it right there,” that’s really cute when you paid $8 to get in and two-drink minimum. When the ticket’s $75, that’s a whole other mindset.

I said this about the Gopher v Ohio State game 2 weeks ago, but after the horrible loss to Northwestern I feel the same way about the game this week.  The Gophers must beat Purdue.  

I was drifting in at out of consiousness today so I didn’t actually see a lot of the game.  I had the game on in the background and I would flip between it and my dream, which was of the Gopher v Northwestern basketball game being played outside on a Minensota lake.  I think I drank too much last night.  

Anyway, back to this weeks game against Purdue.  I see it as a must win because we are coming off of a terrible game.  I see it as a must win because it’s at home.  I see it as a must win because after Purdue we play at Indiana (Indiana’s bad but Northwestern was too), Illinois, at Michigan State and at Ohio State.  If we do not beat Purdue and regain our confidence/swagger (I hate the word swagger)/moxie (I hate the word moxie even more) we could crank out a season-killing 6 game losing streak.  So what needs to be done?  Thanks for asking.

1) Blake Hoffarber’s minutes need to be drastically cut.  He has yet to show up for a Big10 game, averaging 3.0 ppg in conference play and hitting only 12% of his 3-pointers.  He’s too slow to gaurd Big10 gaurds.  If Coach Smith wants a slow white kid who can hit 12% of his 3-point attempts then I will consider walking on next year.  Give his minutes to Travis Busch or Devoe Joseph.

2) The starting line-up should be Westbrook – Nolan – Johnson – Carter – Sampson III.  Joseph can come off the bench to get the team going.  Colton Iverson can replace Sampson if he’s in foul trouble or struggling on defense.  

3) I’m very thankful for Jamal Abu-Shamala and what he did for this program in the past years.  He was the one shinging light for a few years.  But this year, he should not be getting the minutes that he is seeing.  We have better shooters then him, more athletic players.  

I’m confident that we can beat Purdue.  Johnson should be able to shut down Robbie Hummel.  The only problem that we should have is with gaurding Calasan.  He’s 6′9″ and can hit 3’s if no one is on him.  

Let’s Go Gophers!

** On a side not, #94 of the Arizona Cardinals Stanky Legged all over Donovan F. McNabb after sacking him late in the 3rd quarter.  No booty doo was observed though.

This looks like it could be the comedy of 2009.

**Uncensored Version

Some time has passed since a good Wisconsin news story has come about.  Luckily we came across 3 today.

**Update: Correction, 3 good stories and 1 great story.

No. 18 Gophers rally to beat Badgers 78-74 in OT

How many times did Rick Rickert beat Madison??  0  (i think)

Accused half-flasher arrested outside IHOP

Wisconsin: Racine Mayor Is Arrested

Wisconsin pilot at controls of NYC’s wet jet
“There’s one other Wisconsin connection to the crash and rescue, but this one’s a bit of a reach. The captain of a New York Waterway Ferry that sped to the scene and removed passengers is named Vince Lombardi.”

Does this sound appetizing to anyone?

…Casu marzu is a traditional sheep milk cheese, notable for being riddled with live insect larvae.  Although outlawed there for health reasons, it is found mainly in Sardinia, Italy on the black market. Casu marzu literally means “rotten cheese” in Sardinian and is known colloquially as Maggot cheese.

Casu marzu is considered toxic when the maggots in the cheese have died. Because of this, only cheese in which the maggots are still alive is eaten. When the cheese has fermented enough, it is cut into thin strips and spread on moistened Sardinian flatbread (pane carasau), to be served with a strong red wine. Casu marzu is believed to be an aphrodisiac by local Sardinians. Because the larvae in the cheese can launch themselves for distances up to 15 centimetres (6 in) when disturbed, diners hold their hands above the sandwich to prevent the maggots from leaping into their eyes. Those who do not wish to eat live maggots place the cheese in a sealed paper bag. The maggots, starved for oxygen, writhe and jump in the bag, creating a “pitter-patter” sound. When the sounds subside, the maggots are dead and the cheese can be eaten.

It is possible to get Casu marzu on the black market, where it can sell for double the price of a regular block of Pecorino.

What’s Pecorino?

I apologize for letting you read this.  I found it intriguing that people would eat something like this that can only be purchased on the black market.

**UPDATE – We have 1 submission in the contest thus far.  Click the Comments link below to view it.

This all started from one unemployed friend finding the Stanky Legg video on you tube.  In case you missed it…

What: The First Ever RickRickert.com Stanky Legg Video Contest
When: Until the End of January
Where: Internets
Why: No idea
Who: Anyone

Record a video of yourself/your crew/somebody doing the Stanky Legg.  Submit it to me by uploading it to YouTube, use your account our I can let you upload it to mine, or you can email the video to gallenberger@gmail.com.  I am not eligible to win.

Prizes: The winner of the contest will recieve one brand new Will Smith I Am Legend DVD (more prizes to come…)

The winner will be chosen by you, the fans and readers.

Let’s make this contest the best ever.

This is great, some really good lines from this one.

“I’ll buy almost anything as long as it’s shiny and made by Apple” 
“I like how the email automatically says ‘Sent by a MacBook Wheel’ that way people know that you have one” 
$2600 for the 8gb and $9900 for the 60gb
“It is yet to be seen if the wheel will catch on in the business world where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around”

The Stanky Legg, according to Wikipedia, is a type of social dance done in night clubs and other casual venues featuring a dance floor. It is similar to the Tootsee Roll or Butterfly and can be linked in sequence with other such dance moves or done independently. The dance comes from the song “Do Da Stanky Legg” by Arlington, Texas group GS Boys (formerly G-Spot Boyz).

According to the lyrics, the Stanky Legg is performed in the following way, which clears up everything for me.

“Now you can lean wit it,
now you can drop wit it.
You can switch to the other leg and you can stop wit it.
Now get it, get it (4x)
Now hit the booty do, hit the booty do (2x)”

So all yous out there still crank that soulja crap, it’s time to move on to the stanky legg.  Punemployed came up with the following idea involving the stanky legg.

“you should start a movement
if every person donates a dollar for warner to do it
you could donate it all to the united way
or whatever charity he wants
you could get some serious $$$
it’d be an iconic NFL moment
lynn swan catch
randall cunningham doing the flip
the immaculate reception
and warner doing the stanky legg on the way to the super bowl…”

KURT WARNER, PLEASE DO THE STANKY LEGG.

Everybody else, I want to walk into a bar or club sometime with this year and see someone Stanky Legging.  I will fall to the floor in exhuberant laughter.  Really, this video, song, and dance is terrible.  This is what Soulja Douche started.  I think it’s a sign that the world is ending.

This week I’m jamming out to Murs’s Everything.  Why?  I don’t know.  It’s a ‘change the world/better society/you can do anything’ song, and I have no idea why I’m in that mood.  James Blunt on the chorus.  I like it.  Get down with Murs.

I think New Zealand needs to enact a new law stating that Rick Rickert most do a new interview every fucking week.  In all seriousness, I hope he writes a book someday…well not him, someone else would probably need to write it.  It takes a little bit of an education to turn letters into words, then words into sentences.  On top of that, the whole ‘i’ before ‘e’ rule can get rather complicated.  Anyway, Rick Rickert’s interview with Steve Deane of the New Zealand Herald.   And….GO! (My comments in italics)

What are your aims for the rest of the season?
Obviously we want to win as many games as possible. But we also want to come together as a group, show each other that everyone has trust in one another.  And we really want to make good on what we are building right now. We want to get one of the top two spots and go from there.

What inspired you to embark on a sporting career?
When I was young I had some height and some natural athletic ability.  My dad was a very good basketball player back in his day, a division one athlete.  So it just kind of fit. I’ve always loved basketball, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do and I knew I could be good at it.

When you were 13 years old, what sport did you fancy yourself as a future star in?
Basketball. (What a great interview question for a basketball player)

Describe your job.
Stressful but rewarding. (These three words could be said about 90% of jobs)

What is the best thing about your job?
Winning. You know what, the best thing about it is my teammates. Coming to work with these guys every day, this is the best team I’ve been on since I’ve been a professional.

And the worst thing?
Probably having to travel so much. And Kirk Penney’s guitar playing. (I think the perfect response here would have been, “Having to deal with the haters in the world, like RickRickert.com )

How much control do you have over whether your team wins or loses?
We all play a significant part in how the team does. It is not one individual that makes up the winning or losing, it is a whole group and everybody has to be on board for that to happen. I think I do play a big part, at least I would like to think I do, coming in and giving energy and motivating players on a daily basis to get to where we ultimately need to be.

What are the proudest achievements of your sporting life?
There have been a lot but the one that really sticks out in my mind is making it to the state championship game in high school. We ended up losing but it was a very fun ride.  (High school, nice.  Probably because that was the last time you came close to winning a big game.)

Name the one career ambition that you want to realise before you retire?
An NBL championship.   (At least he’s finally ruled out the NBA)

If you weren’t a basketballer what would you be doing?
Good question but I don’t have a good answer. I don’t know. (What options does he have….. nothing that requires a college degree….Duluth East Basketball Coach?  No, one of the players would probably punch him in the face.  Hmmm, with interviews like this he could turn to comedy.  See next 2 questions.)

Who in the world do you most admire? 
Jesus Christ. (Wow, JC.  Didn’t see that one coming.)

Who would play you in a movie?
I’m assuming height doesn’t matter because I don’t know too many actors my height. I’d like somebody like Brad Pitt to play me. (Of course, Brad Pitt.  Alright, let’s compare photos)

(Yeah, I see it now, good choice.  I think DJ Qualls from Road Trip would be the prime choice)

What’s your favourite venue to play in?
Williams Arena in Minneapolis. That’s my home town stadium for the University of Minnesota.

What’s your hobby to get away from your sport?
Fishing. I haven’t had a chance to get out in New Zealand but I would absolutely love to. (You’ve been there for 2 or 3 years and you haven’t found time to fish??  It’s a fucking island with rivers and lakes.  You had surgery last year, you couldn’t get yourself on a dock during your time off??  Shit, even Spencer Tollackson found time to ice fish last weekend before announcing to Badger game on the BTN.)

Who was your childhood hero?
I grew up watching Michael Jordan play. I thought he was pretty sweet. (Remember that one kids.  Michael Jordan = Pretty Sweet.)

I’m trying my luck with a little sports betting this weekend.  Here’s what I’m looking for to happen:

1) $5 Parlay on all home teams to cover.  Pays $61.47
     Tennessee Titans -3, Carolina Panthers -9½, New York Giants -4, and Pittsburgh Steelers -6

2) $5 Parlay on what I think is going to happen.  Pays $58.65
     Baltimore Ravens +3, Carolina Panthers -9½, New York Giants -4, and San Diego Chargers +6

3) $10 safe Parlay on what I definitely think will happen.  Pays $26.00
     Carolina Panthers -9½ and New York Giants -4

**Update: Glad to see the Ravens take the first game.  I was getting nervous that the Titans were going to win by 3 and ruin my first 2 bets.  Alright, lets go Panthers!

Patrick Swayze has been admitted into a hospital.  It is reported that he is battling pneumonia.  If my memory serves me correctly, pneumonia took the life of Bernie Mac not too long ago, could it be the cause for another celebrity death?!?!

Tonights bet:  Duke beats Stephen Curry by 19.5

Bettor: Amir Berenjian

Bet Amount: $5