A fan site dedicated to the worst product from the U of M

The Predicament texted me last night with an idea to come up with top 10 songs of the decade.  What a great idea!  The problem with creating top 10 lists for a 10 year span is that they are heavily slanted toward the later years, it’s hard to remember the songs from early 2000.   The problem with RickRickert.com is that we might not create a list of the actual top 10 songs.  Let’s see what we came up with.

1. Sisqo’s The Thong Song
According to IMDB, Sisqo is 5′5″, just tall enough to not be called a midget.  “She had dumps like a truck truck truck.”  Here’s what The Predicaments said about it, “Im personally a big fan of the 2.08 to 2.16 section….A great combo of 1 handed cartwheel, to backflip, to applying condiments to a hot dog.  Then when you think it cant get any better, around 3.18 the matrix shit starts.  Boom.”  Personally, I love the man-pyramid at 3:12.  Wikipedia summerizes the video nicely, “Set in Miami, Sisqó goes to the beach from his home to participate in a Spring Break party with a large number of young women who are, contrary to what the song’s title might suggest, all wearing bikinis and not thongs. Sisqó proceeds to perform acrobatic feats atop the crowd that condradict the laws of physics, culminating in a stage performance lit with blacklights and an orchestra in the background.”

2. Britney Spears’s Toxic
Wow was this an annoying song, but people loved it.  My favorite Toxic memory occurred when everybody at a college house party had already left or passed out.  Myself and a friend were still wide awake at 5am, so we brought a road block inside and put it in front of the main entrance.  We then queued up Toxic on the stereo, put it on repeat, turned the volume up all the way, and left.  We were told that the cops showed up 30 minutes later due to a noise complaint.  Anyway, early Britney in a see-through, diamond covered onesie, you really can’t beat that.

3. Outkast’s Ms. Jackson
“The titular “Ms. Jackson” is the real-life mother of Erykah Badu, André 3000’s ex-girlfriend and the mother of his son Seven. The song discusses the problems that break-ups, separation, and divorce can have on a couple, and the animosity that a woman’s mother can have for her daughter’s former boyfriend or husband.”

4. Enrique Iglesias’s Escape
If it wasn’t for Anna Kournikova no one would give a shit about this terrible song.  But because she was his GF, she was in the video.  Automatic hit.  My neighbor freshman year absolutely loved this song.  He loved it so much that he learned to play it on his guitar.  Can you imagine him telling his kids that story some day.  “Yeah son, I can play the guitar.  See if you can recognize this Enrique Iglasias hit from 2001.”

5. 50 Cent’s In da Club
“So come give me a hug if you’re down for getting rough.”  Splendid magazine called the song an “insanely catchy” single with its “stanky, horn-addled thump.”  I enjoy any song that has a little stank.  Did you know that 50 Cent was sued over this song because of the phrase “it’s your birffday.”  The lawsuit was thrown out because the phrase is a “common, unoriginal and noncopyrightable element of the song”.  Seemed original to me.

Either I’m only going to do 5 songs, or the 2nd half of the list will show up this weekend.  Who knows.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM RICK RICKERT.COM!

BRING MIKE LEACH TO MINNESOTA!!

FIRE TIM BREWSTER!!

PLEASE!

Fat Guy Lake Cannonball Fail – Watch more Funny Videos

Why are videos of people diving into frozen bodies of water so funny?

Some of these are pretty funny.  I’m liking the Tyson one and the freaky ginger kid.

Celebrity Photo Bombs

The Big10 season opener tonight for the Golden Gophers was tonight against the Penn State Nittany Lions.

I texted this message to my Ace Boon Coon, Amir, during the game: “I love Tubby’s recruiting, but hate his coaching.”  The hockey substitution works well during the pre-season cupcake schedule, but it showed it’s downside in the real games against Texas A&M, Miami, and tonight with Penn State.  The 2nd string line-up of Cobbs (who played very well), Devoe (my favorite player), Carter (best energy man on the team), Colton, and Williams can not put points on the board.  They ran out the shot clock twice during the game.  They are a great energy line-up that could confuse the other team for awhile, but they are foul prone, unable to rebound, and can’t put up points unless Devoe is hot.  During tonights game Westbrook was hot ( 9 of 12 with 7:30 left in the game).  You can’t pull him out unless he’s dragging.  He is the man that saved the team in close games last year (remember the Wisconsin game?).  I like every person on the 2nd string, I just don’t like them all on the court at the same time, unless the team scores are 20+ points apart.  The bench did contribute 19 points tonight, so while I’m being hard on them, I still need to recognize that they did their part.  I just think that they would be more effective if they were mixed in with the starters.

Hoffarber…….I don’t know what to say.  I didn’t think that he would get a single good shot off tonight, but he did.  He never has a problem getting his looks when playing against the pre-season cupcakes, but when he has a Big10 defender on him he struggles.  His 3 3-pointers tonight were huge.  They came at times when we needed them.  Sure, a few of his shots came when he was wide, wide, wide open…… so wide open that I could make them.  But I’m going to change my stance on Blake and hope that he can continue to get good looks throughout the season.  However, I still prefer if he came off the bench.

There were two huge disappointments tonight.  First was Damian Johnson.  This is his senior year and thus far he has shown me absolutely nothing.  He has no jump shot, he can’t shoot free throws, and he fouls way too much.  He even missed a breakaway dunk!  Tonight he went 3 of 8  from the floor (with 2 easy buckets within the last 2 minutes), 1 of 2 form the free throw line, and had 3 fouls.  Luckily he had 6 rebounds, so his night wasn’t a complete bust.  The Gophers have 2 seniors on the team this year.  Westbrook worked hard in the off-season to step up his game.  We are yet to see what Damian has to offer, besides going out downtown and thinking that he is The Situation of Minneapolis.  Hmmmm, that could be a good nickname for someone.

The second huge disappoint of the night was how the team defended Talor Battle.  Commentators, analysts and journalists always talk about the great defense that the Gopher guards play.  We knew going in that Battle is their man, averaging almost 19 points a game.  So how can you leave him so wide open behind the 3-point line??  Even if he is 5-feet behind the line, you can’t leave him open.  He’s a guard, guards shoot 3-pointers.  Shit, I can hit a 3 from 10 feet behind the arc, and I haven’t shot a basketball in maybe 4 months.   This isn’t just about Talor Battle, this is about guarding the 3-point line in general.  Penn State made 50% of their 3-point attempts tonight.  The Gophers need to stop collapsing down into the lane and protect the 3-point line, especially when playing teams that do not have a center.  Who were we helping on so much that left Battle so wide open!?  Ralph, Colton, Damian and Carter should be able to defend most Big10 centers and forwards without help.  The guards need to practice staying disciplined, not lose their man, and close out.

Stats of the night:
Gopher Turnovers: 7 (I predict that this will be their season low during the Big10 season)
Average Pts Allowed Before Big10 Play: 59   Penn State Points: 70

Quote of the night:
“Young fella, stuntin like his daddy!”

The following document was written by me in 1997, so when I was in 8th grade.  I have no idea what it was for or why I wrote.  Minus the grammatical errors, I feel like it’s a damn good piece of writing by a 14 year old.  With no further ado, I present: Gays and Lesbians: They’re Humans Too

According to BusinessWeek

“Nearly half of men who get vasectomies don’t return for follow-up tests that make sure the procedure is working, new research suggests.

Those who don’t go back, and therefore risk an unwanted pregnancy, are more likely to be smokers, not highly educated and the fathers of four or more children, the study found.”

I found this picture in my room over Christmas break.  How awesome is this?  It’s amazing how I was able to pull off wearing pants that are 8 sizes to big while rocking a very very small flannel.  I’m impressed by it, and I know you are too.

This weekend will feature the first ever Rick Rickert.com Death Pool Draft.  If you are interested in joining us this year shoot me an email at gallenberger@gmail.com

Be prepared with a health list of celebrities that you think will pass away/get injured/get diagnosed with a disease in 2010.  There will be new bonus points to keep everyone engaged.

“Bowling tonight, Christmas Eve with (girl’s name), and going to the Packer game sunday, life can’t get any better than this!!!!!!”

Life in Wisconsin is so simple and easy.

Let’s see what’s going on around the internet dealing with The Jersey Shore

Alyssa Milano transforms into Snooki:

Blowout 101: How to do your hair like Pauly D

Or See it here (if embedded video doesn’t load)

The Jersey Shore at your party?
Cast members will make an appearance at your party for a small fee.
The Situation – $7500
Pauly D – $7500
Snooki – $2000
Ronnie – $3500
Vinnie – $3500
J-WOWW – $5000

These prices do not include lodging fees and transportation, which you must cover as well.  But you better call soon, they are currently booked solid through June.

After hearing friends talk about the TV series Dexter and reading about the ratings it pulled in for the season 4 season finale, I decided to check it out. As of now I really don’t have much to say about it besides that I hope Dexter’s sister gets killed soon. I can’t stand a single thing about her. She needs to die and she needs to die now. That’s all.

This weekends SNL was pretty horrible. James Franco hosted and wasn’t funny. To be honest, there weren’t many funny moments at all. The first one occurred during over-used What Up With That skit which featured The Mike Tyson. So what was funny? Adam Sandberg dressed up as John Stockton and pretending to shoot baskets and pass.

The 2nd funny part was when Snooki and The Situation appeared during Weekend Update.

Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Stoked

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

Readers,

The 2010 Death Pool will be starting shortly, and like many other things that are constantly changing and evolving, so is our Death Pool. 2010 will be the first year that we implement a draft format. This means that no two people will have the same person on their death board. So if we get a number of entrants, we will need a large number of death candidates. We will also implement new ways of scoring points, like if your draftee makes the news for going to the hospital, gets diagnosed with a disease, falls down, breaks a limb, etc.

So if you have aspirations of joining the 2010 Death Pool, please let me know. We are tentatively scheduling the draft for Sunday January 3rd in Minneapolis. Those planning to enter, prepare your team with a number of potential draftees (for example, if there are 10 entrants and 10 people per team, that means a total of 100 will be chosen to pass away in 2010, that’s a lot of people to think of).