A fan site dedicated to the worst product from the U of M

The Predicament texted me last night with an idea to come up with top 10 songs of the decade.  What a great idea!  The problem with creating top 10 lists for a 10 year span is that they are heavily slanted toward the later years, it’s hard to remember the songs from early 2000.   The problem with RickRickert.com is that we might not create a list of the actual top 10 songs.  Let’s see what we came up with.

1. Sisqo’s The Thong Song
According to IMDB, Sisqo is 5′5″, just tall enough to not be called a midget.  “She had dumps like a truck truck truck.”  Here’s what The Predicaments said about it, “Im personally a big fan of the 2.08 to 2.16 section….A great combo of 1 handed cartwheel, to backflip, to applying condiments to a hot dog.  Then when you think it cant get any better, around 3.18 the matrix shit starts.  Boom.”  Personally, I love the man-pyramid at 3:12.  Wikipedia summerizes the video nicely, “Set in Miami, Sisqó goes to the beach from his home to participate in a Spring Break party with a large number of young women who are, contrary to what the song’s title might suggest, all wearing bikinis and not thongs. Sisqó proceeds to perform acrobatic feats atop the crowd that condradict the laws of physics, culminating in a stage performance lit with blacklights and an orchestra in the background.”

2. Britney Spears’s Toxic
Wow was this an annoying song, but people loved it.  My favorite Toxic memory occurred when everybody at a college house party had already left or passed out.  Myself and a friend were still wide awake at 5am, so we brought a road block inside and put it in front of the main entrance.  We then queued up Toxic on the stereo, put it on repeat, turned the volume up all the way, and left.  We were told that the cops showed up 30 minutes later due to a noise complaint.  Anyway, early Britney in a see-through, diamond covered onesie, you really can’t beat that.

3. Outkast’s Ms. Jackson
“The titular “Ms. Jackson” is the real-life mother of Erykah Badu, André 3000’s ex-girlfriend and the mother of his son Seven. The song discusses the problems that break-ups, separation, and divorce can have on a couple, and the animosity that a woman’s mother can have for her daughter’s former boyfriend or husband.”

4. Enrique Iglesias’s Escape
If it wasn’t for Anna Kournikova no one would give a shit about this terrible song.  But because she was his GF, she was in the video.  Automatic hit.  My neighbor freshman year absolutely loved this song.  He loved it so much that he learned to play it on his guitar.  Can you imagine him telling his kids that story some day.  “Yeah son, I can play the guitar.  See if you can recognize this Enrique Iglasias hit from 2001.”

5. 50 Cent’s In da Club
“So come give me a hug if you’re down for getting rough.”  Splendid magazine called the song an “insanely catchy” single with its “stanky, horn-addled thump.”  I enjoy any song that has a little stank.  Did you know that 50 Cent was sued over this song because of the phrase “it’s your birffday.”  The lawsuit was thrown out because the phrase is a “common, unoriginal and noncopyrightable element of the song”.  Seemed original to me.

Either I’m only going to do 5 songs, or the 2nd half of the list will show up this weekend.  Who knows.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM RICK RICKERT.COM!