This season has received alot of criticism for lack of talent and generally, I agree. However, there were these two, then the rest of the group. So last night they went at it. Going into the night, I told a colleague that it’s too close to call and whoever showed up last night would take the crown. In summary, Crystal showed up, and Lee didn’t. That said, I would like to see Lee win but I’m putting my $ on Crystal. Here are my favorite performances of each during the season.
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For shits, here is my favorite performance of the entire season.
Sorry for the lack of AI posts in the past two weeks, shopping for Japanese baseball jerseys, deep V’s and hummus has consumed the majority of my free time. We are down to the top 5 this week with an early favorite, Siobhan Magnus, heading home last week. I don’t think she had a chance to win, but at least deserved to make the top 5. On the bright side, Tim Urban, my bottom pick for 10 weeks running, finally got shipped home 2 weeks ago.
Here are my current rankings….in a new exciting format, tiers.
Tier 1
Crystal Bowersox
Lee Dewyze
Tier 2
Casey James
Tier 3
Aaron Kelly
Michael Lynch
I want big Mike to go home this week but if I was a betting man, I’d say Aaron will get voted off the island. Here’s some clips of the Tier one peeps. Boom Dizzle.
(CNN) — As the country was sinking into its worst financial crisis in more than 70 years, Security and Exchange Commission employees and contractors cruised porn sites and viewed sexually explicit pictures using government computers, according to an agency report obtained by CNN.
The inspector general’s report includes specific examples of misuse by employees.
A regional office staff accountant tried to access pornographic websites nearly 1,800 times, using her SEC laptop during a two-week period. She also had about 600 pornographic images saved on her laptop hard drive.
Separately, a senior attorney at SEC headquarters admitted to downloading pornography up to eight hours a day, according to the investigation.
“In fact, this attorney downloaded so much pornography to his government computer that he exhausted the available space on the computer hard drive and downloaded pornography to CDs or DVDs that he accumulated in boxes in his office,” the inspector general’s report said.
For those that hate Idol, I apologize because you’re getting a double dose this week. Last night’s performances (McCartney & Lennon theme) changed my rankings so I’d like to make it be known prior to tonight’s eliminations.
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Lee Dewyze
3. Siobhan Magnus,
4. Casey James
5. Andrew Garcia
6. Katie Stevens
7. Michael Lynche
8. Aaron Kelly
9. Tim Urban
Although my rankings don’t reflect it (because the voters are tards) I predict Tim, Aaron and Andrew in the bottom 3 tonight with Tim finally going home.
Here’s some highlights from last night. Katie ripped it with Let It Be for the best performance of the night and Sox rendition of come together was stellar. Casey finally chose a song that fit his voice well, hes so dreamy.
So I’d like to start off by saying fuck, I had no idea you guys actually cared so much about my post that it would warrant several harassing emails, negative gmail chat messages, verbal abuse, and an old school white on brown hate post by my rr.com boss, the Dr. Although the hate hurts, it has provided motivation and inspiration for my work going forward. For that, I thank you, the fans. So here’s my update going into this week’s top 9.
To my dismay, my girl and number 2 ranking was voted off the island last week. Complete bullshit. America, at least the 10 year old girls that make up a majority of the votes, you’re retarded. It took a week, but I’m over it, kindof. Anyways, heres your current look at the top 9.
1. Crystal Bowersox
Pro’s: She’s solid every week, picks good songs and great effortless voice. Con’s: she never smiles and her parents are first cousins. Seriously, the AI stylists have been working double shifts on her. You can take the girl out of the trailerpark, but you can’t take the trailerpark out of the girl.
2. Siobhan Magnus,
After she absolutely bombed last week I’m little skeptical of Siobhan, but her performances in prior week’s warrants the #2 spot. She’s now ended 3 or 4 weeks in a row with yelling. If she does it again this week, the judges are going to shit on her.
3. Lee Dewyze
Lee is the only contestant that has improved every week. His first week in Hollywood I pegged him to get knocked off early, he had no confidence and unmemorable performances. That has changed and I think he can make a run at the top.
4. Casey James
Pro’s: Consistent, picks gnarly songs (did ‘power of love’ last week), Kara wants to sit on his face. Con’s: I don’t think he has a powerful enough voice to be a solo artist.
5. Andrew Garcia
Finally my brother from Compton pulls through this week after unsuccessfully following up his stellar performance of Paula’s ‘Straight Up’ from the first week at Hollywood. He went with Chris Brown’s forever, acoustic. Not included in the video, he actually punched a Canadian chick in the face for the grand finale. I love you Rihanna.
The rest aren’t worth mentioning in my opinion; however, Big Mike gets rave reviews every week but I just don’t see it. Last time a huge Canadian won his first single titled “sorry, sorry, sorry” sold less copies than Heidi Montags debut album. Not a good investment Simon, you should have bought a shit load of new V-necks instead.
6. Aaron Kelly
7. Michael Lynche
8. Katie Stevens
9. Tim Urban
Without seeing this week’s performances yet, I can assure you Tim’s performance will suck ass. Then when the judges rip him, he will stand there with an ass eating grin on his face just thinking about all the hot LA ass hes going to get and the poor girl him and Tiger Woods are going pee on on Sunday night after Woods wins the green jacket. Seriously though, that really happened.
That said, I think this is Tim’s last week. Boom Dizzle.
Not much to report this week, my rankings still stand from last week. Bottom 3…Garcia, Urban, and Paige rounding out the bottom and heading home tonight.
The following is an excerpt from CNN’s coverage of the healthcare bill.
Tanning tax
Tanning enthusiasts will have to shell out more to achieve the golden shade. The health care law imposes a 10 percent tax on the service.
John Overstreet, the executive director of The Indoor Tanning Association, decried the new tax calling it, “a crummy, crummy way to make tax policy.”
Lawmakers had considered taxing elective cosmetic procedures, but changed the language to tax indoor tanning services instead.
“We’ve been hit by the recession already,” Overstreet said. “A 10 percent tax will be a body blow to the industry.”
But UV-emitting tanning devices have been classified as “carcinogenic to humans” by the International Agency for Research on Cancer, which is part of the World Health Organization.
So my picks last week blew, my #4 & #5 girls went home along with my #1 & #8 dudes. According to the fuckhead that posted a comment on my post his dog did better. Well fuck your dog. Who would have guessed fox Katelyn Epperly gets the boot so early. Anyways, we are now left with 12 and I don’t think the guys even have a chance at landing in the top 3.
Here’s some quick notes on the Rolling Stones songs performed last night in the order of my current overall rankings:
1. Siobhan Magnus, “Paint It Black”
This bitch is weird, but good. Top 3 is certain. Here is her performance from last night.
2. Didi Benami, “Play With Fire”
Been my favorite since week 1 with another great performance last night. Unique voice, great voice, sweet personality, sexy and I bet she gives one hell of a dry HJ. Here is her performance from last night.
3. Crystal Bowersox, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
Another solid performance, but no risks here. Her resistance to smile, hickish teeth and a fat ass are the only things holding her back.
4. Casey James, “It’s All Over Now”
After the top 3 its falls off dramatically, Casey had another decent performance but I don’t think he has the voice to be a frontman. He’ll continue to get votes from chicks that want to fuck him and guys that have chat roulette accounts.
5. Lee Dewyze, “Beast of Burden”
6. Aaron Kelly, “Angie”
7. Michael Lynche, “Miss You”
8. Andrew Garcia, “Gimme Shelter”
9. Katie Stevens, “Wild Horses”
10. Paige Miles, “Honky Tonk Women”
Of note, Paige is the only Canadian left. She actually did really well this week but is still sitting in the back of the bus. I have Lacey and Tim packing up tonight.
11. Lacey Brown, “Ruby Tuesday”
12. Tim Urban, “Under My Thumb”
Happy St.Patricks Day and with that I leave you with this Leprechaun documentary.
First off I’d like to appoligize to Milton Bradley for my horseshit analysis last week. However, I cannot assure you of any improvements in this, or any subsequent weeks.
Just a quick update on the current situation (Damnit, I need to stop laughing everytime I use that word)….Down to 16, 8 guys, 8 girls. Of note, of the 8 contestants eliminated thus far, I’ve picked 5 correctly. This eye for talent is likely why the label Caspian Productions has been such a great success. Anyways, now that we are down to manageable amount of contestents Im going to rank them each week.
First with the ladies.
1. Didi Benami
2. Crytal Bowersox
3. Siobhan Mangus
4. Katelyn Epperly
5. Lilly Scott
6. Katie Stevens
7. Lacey Brown
8. Paige Miles
I hope Katie Steven doesnt go home this week, she has done really well to date but stubled last night whereas Lacey did well last night but has sucked up to this point. Paige is a layup for a pick to go home tonight. I watched it on DVR and as soon as she started singing I fast forward to Simon’s commentary. He basically said that unless you release a hot sex tape in the next 24 hours you better pack your bags. Heres clips of my top 2.
As for the guys, Its been all over the place. Andrew Garcia was a huge favorite going into the top 24 but hasnt done shit since…he tried last night with “genie in a bottle”, I give him credit for trying but it turned out to be nothing special. Another item of note, the judges were literally sobbing after Big Mike’s performance that I actaully fast forwarded through. Didn’t get it.
1. Alex Lambert
2. Casey James
3. Lee Dewyze
4. Andrew Garcia
5. Michael Lynche
6. Tim Urban
7. Aaron Kelly
8. Todrick Hall
Tim Urban sucks, usually, but did decent last night so if he doesnt go home this week, he’ll be gone next week. Here are clips from the top 2. Of note, Lambert has an ill mullet.
Expression for black people used by whites as “code” when they want to refer to people of color in a semi-derogatory manner without being detected in a group of people.
So I’m at the bar and didn’t write my picks or analyze the week. So here you go, wierd week, people I liked did shitty, and people I didn’t like, did well. So shit. One item of note, Ellens dyke ass is starting to annoy me. Here’s my picks: girls: Michelle and Lacey are going home. Guys: Park, Jermaine & Urban will be among the booted. Shit.
Welcome to my newest segment! The premise is very simple, highlight clips from Comedy Central’s Tosh.0. For those of you not familiar with the show, Tosh.0 is series hosted by comedian Daniel Tosh who provides sarcastic, racist, sexist and cynical commentary to online video clips. Very simple, yet very humorous. The show is currently in its second season and plays on Comedy Central at 9:30 on Wednesdays.
Welcome to the top 24 and a new format; Tuesday night – 2 hours and each girl performs one solo performance, Wednesday night – 2 hours and each guy performs one solo performance, Thursday night – 1 hour and 2 guys and 2 girls go home. Yes 5 hours, what more could you ask for? I’d ask for better than a 1:50 ratio of decent entertainment to horseshit. Since 4 are going home tonight I thought I’d throw out some predictions today and then recap my favorites from the week tomorrow. In spite of my negativity, racism and sexism, there are at least 5 out of the group that I really like.
As for the girls….nearly all of them blew huge cock on Tuesday night, huge Canadian cock, and by Canadian, I mean black. Nearly all the performances fell into the category of shitty or forgettable. Unfortunately, one of my favorites, Haeley Vaughn had an incredibly annoying performance and is at risk of going home tonight. My other two picks are Janell Wheeler and Ashley Rodriguez.
I thought the guys actually did Ok last night; however, the bar was set very low by the girls so it’s tough to judge. My predictions on the boot: Jermaine Sellers, Tim Urban or John Park.
In summary, I would choose to listen to drunken/concussed T$ and Dr.JBC do a duet of an Amy Grant track at the Vegas Lounge over 19 of the 24 performances this week.
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