Did you know that there’s any easy way to boost the signal of your keyless entry?  Oh there is, and you don’t need to purchase a Billy Mays miracle product to do so.  Simply be facing your automobile, place the keyless entry fob under mouth/chin, open your mouth and press the lock button.  Seriously.  You may look little more nerdy than usual, but it works.  Give it a try when your leaving work today.  As you approach your car, try unlocking the doors from a far distance.  If it doesn’t work, try the steps above and see if it works.  You’re welcome.

Just a quick update on the current situation (Damnit, I need to stop laughing everytime I use that word)….Down to 16, 8 guys, 8 girls. Of note, of the 8 contestants eliminated thus far, I’ve picked 5 correctly. This eye for talent is likely why the label Caspian Productions has been such a great success. Anyways, now that we are down to manageable amount of contestents Im going to rank them each week.

First with the ladies.

1. Didi Benami
2. Crytal Bowersox
3. Siobhan Mangus
4. Katelyn Epperly
5. Lilly Scott
6. Katie Stevens
7. Lacey Brown
8. Paige Miles

I hope Katie Steven doesnt go home this week, she has done really well to date but stubled last night whereas Lacey did well last night but has sucked up to this point. Paige is a layup for a pick to go home tonight. I watched it on DVR and as soon as she started singing I fast forward to Simon’s commentary. He basically said that unless you release a hot sex tape in the next 24 hours you better pack your bags. Heres clips of my top 2.

As for the guys, Its been all over the place. Andrew Garcia was a huge favorite going into the top 24 but hasnt done shit since…he tried last night with “genie in a bottle”, I give him credit for trying but it turned out to be nothing special. Another item of note, the judges were literally sobbing after Big Mike’s performance that I actaully fast forwarded through. Didn’t get it.

1. Alex Lambert
2. Casey James
3. Lee Dewyze
4. Andrew Garcia
5. Michael Lynche
6. Tim Urban
7. Aaron Kelly
8. Todrick Hall

Tim Urban sucks, usually, but did decent last night so if he doesnt go home this week, he’ll be gone next week. Here are clips from the top 2. Of note, Lambert has an ill mullet.

If you haven’t seen in the news, Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million because of their superbowl ad which said “milkaholic.”  More specifically, the ad said something like “you weren’t hanging out with that milkaholic Lindsay” or something (i hate etrade ads).  In Lindsay Lohan’s mind, the ad was referring to her.  Seriously.

Her lawyers and mother are claiming that Lindsay Lohan is a one-name celebrity like Madonna, Cher or Beyonce (is Beyonce a one-namer yet?)  Seriously.  So I don’t really have a problem with Lindsay Lohan bringing forth this lawsuit.  If that’s how she wants to blow her money, super.  It makes her look like a moron.  Is she even considered a celebrity anymore?  Does she act?  What does she do?

The problem that I have is with the lawyers (and i guess the legal system as a whole) that are representing her on this lawsuit.  I understand that lawyers are necessary, but it seems like all of them are money grubbing ass-clowns only trying to profit off of other people’s misfortunes.  How can a lawyer look at this lawsuit and seriously consider it? People always complain about the legal system being f’d up, doesn’t this look like an excellent reason why?  These lawyers should be disbarred and shot in the thigh.

I wish that e-trade would come out with their PR person and reply simply by saying “Are you f*ing ratarded Ms. Lohan?  Stop wasting our time with this stupid shit.”  I actually think the public would enjoy this response and it would bring a lot of attention to e-trade, maybe even some new customers.  That’ all.