Today is the first day to order your iPad, which I’m sure most of you have done already. Keeping that theme going, Doritos has a little commercial poking fun the iPad (not really, maybe just mocking it). Here’s the thing, it’s not really that funny. Scale of 1-10, maybe a 5 or 6. They had good ad’s during the Super Bowl but they can’t make a good iPad mockery. So why am I wasting your time with this? Because the last part of the video features Evan. Real World/Road Rules challenge Evan. Again, not a BFD, just keeping you up-to-date on the latest from the Doritos camp.
Here’s a tip that I’ve used for quite some time and I’m unsure if it’s widely known. Most of us drive automobiles that have a keyless fob for easier entry. Has it every happened to you that after parking your car and walking away that you think to yourself “I don’t think I locked the doors.” So then you push the lock button on your fob, and nothing happens because you’re too far away from the car. You start taking steps back to your car until the lights flash signaling that the “LOCK MY FUCKING DOORS” command was received.
Did you know that there’s any easy way to boost the signal of your keyless entry? Oh there is, and you don’t need to purchase a Billy Mays miracle product to do so. Simply be facing your automobile, place the keyless entry fob under mouth/chin, open your mouth and press the lock button. Seriously. You may look little more nerdy than usual, but it works. Give it a try when your leaving work today. As you approach your car, try unlocking the doors from a far distance. If it doesn’t work, try the steps above and see if it works. You’re welcome.
First off I’d like to appoligize to Milton Bradley for my horseshit analysis last week. However, I cannot assure you of any improvements in this, or any subsequent weeks.
Just a quick update on the current situation (Damnit, I need to stop laughing everytime I use that word)….Down to 16, 8 guys, 8 girls. Of note, of the 8 contestants eliminated thus far, I’ve picked 5 correctly. This eye for talent is likely why the label Caspian Productions has been such a great success. Anyways, now that we are down to manageable amount of contestents Im going to rank them each week.
First with the ladies.
1. Didi Benami
2. Crytal Bowersox
3. Siobhan Mangus
4. Katelyn Epperly
5. Lilly Scott
6. Katie Stevens
7. Lacey Brown
8. Paige Miles
I hope Katie Steven doesnt go home this week, she has done really well to date but stubled last night whereas Lacey did well last night but has sucked up to this point. Paige is a layup for a pick to go home tonight. I watched it on DVR and as soon as she started singing I fast forward to Simon’s commentary. He basically said that unless you release a hot sex tape in the next 24 hours you better pack your bags. Heres clips of my top 2.
As for the guys, Its been all over the place. Andrew Garcia was a huge favorite going into the top 24 but hasnt done shit since…he tried last night with “genie in a bottle”, I give him credit for trying but it turned out to be nothing special. Another item of note, the judges were literally sobbing after Big Mike’s performance that I actaully fast forwarded through. Didn’t get it.
1. Alex Lambert
2. Casey James
3. Lee Dewyze
4. Andrew Garcia
5. Michael Lynche
6. Tim Urban
7. Aaron Kelly
8. Todrick Hall
Tim Urban sucks, usually, but did decent last night so if he doesnt go home this week, he’ll be gone next week. Here are clips from the top 2. Of note, Lambert has an ill mullet.
There are a few thinks that I think are truely turning America into a flaming pile of shit, let’s name 3: Stupid Lawyers/Lawsuits, E-Trade Commercials, Jimmy Fallon. Now combine Lindsay Lohan with 2 of the 3 mentioned. Scary….run for the hills.
If you haven’t seen in the news, Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million because of their superbowl ad which said “milkaholic.” More specifically, the ad said something like “you weren’t hanging out with that milkaholic Lindsay” or something (i hate etrade ads). In Lindsay Lohan’s mind, the ad was referring to her. Seriously.
Her lawyers and mother are claiming that Lindsay Lohan is a one-name celebrity like Madonna, Cher or Beyonce (is Beyonce a one-namer yet?) Seriously. So I don’t really have a problem with Lindsay Lohan bringing forth this lawsuit. If that’s how she wants to blow her money, super. It makes her look like a moron. Is she even considered a celebrity anymore? Does she act? What does she do?
The problem that I have is with the lawyers (and i guess the legal system as a whole) that are representing her on this lawsuit. I understand that lawyers are necessary, but it seems like all of them are money grubbing ass-clowns only trying to profit off of other people’s misfortunes. How can a lawyer look at this lawsuit and seriously consider it? People always complain about the legal system being f’d up, doesn’t this look like an excellent reason why? These lawyers should be disbarred and shot in the thigh.
I wish that e-trade would come out with their PR person and reply simply by saying “Are you f*ing ratarded Ms. Lohan? Stop wasting our time with this stupid shit.” I actually think the public would enjoy this response and it would bring a lot of attention to e-trade, maybe even some new customers. That’ all.
Expression for black people used by whites as “code” when they want to refer to people of color in a semi-derogatory manner without being detected in a group of people.
Unless you are a Florida Panthers hockey fan, you probably don’t know about their announcer Randy Moller. Moller is known for his amazing goal calls. If you don’t know what a goal call is, it occurs when the team scores and the radio announcer screams “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL” followed by a cheesy one-liner similar to the ones David Caruso makes on CSI Miami. Last night the Panthers scored 7 goals so he got to make many many calls. Some of the calls last night went like this. Below is a youtube highlight reel of Randy Moller goal calls. Enjoy.
“GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! AND YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!”
“GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! I’M ON A HORSE!”
“GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! BRING ME A HIGHER LOVE!”
So I’m at the bar and didn’t write my picks or analyze the week. So here you go, wierd week, people I liked did shitty, and people I didn’t like, did well. So shit. One item of note, Ellens dyke ass is starting to annoy me. Here’s my picks: girls: Michelle and Lacey are going home. Guys: Park, Jermaine & Urban will be among the booted. Shit.
Your favorite American Idol Recap and Bullshit site is hosting it’s 2nd ever employee recognition event!! But instead of looking like the photo above, our event will more likely look like the photo below.
So what are we doing? The only thing Rick Rickert would be proud of, a University of Minnesota Bar Crawl. The precise details haven’t been ironed out yet, but the event will be held Saturday March 6th and the tentative schedule looks something like this:
9pm Sally’s Saloon and Eatery
??pm Blarney’s Pub and Grill
12pm or so Burrito Loco
1pm or so The Library
If you want to party with the executive staff of your favorite website, then stop by one or all of the above institutions around the time posted. There’s a small movement trying to gain steam in which those attending dress like college. I interpreted that to mean that men would wear cargo pants and turtle neck sweaters. Girls would wear tight black fuck-me pants and something up top. But the person starting this movement just meant to wear University of Minnesota apparel.
So get your ass to campus this weekend. Who knows, you might accidentally a whole table of girls at The Library. A WHOLE TABLE!
The only problem I see about posting this on the RickRickert.com is if any of Rick Rickert’s rock eating clan members decide to waddle down from their favorite Shoney’s in Duluth to tell us how terrible we are for running this site. We don’t need your guys ruining our good time. Stay in Duluth. Thank you.
Welcome to my newest segment! The premise is very simple, highlight clips from Comedy Central’s Tosh.0. For those of you not familiar with the show, Tosh.0 is series hosted by comedian Daniel Tosh who provides sarcastic, racist, sexist and cynical commentary to online video clips. Very simple, yet very humorous. The show is currently in its second season and plays on Comedy Central at 9:30 on Wednesdays.
Overheard in (Place) has been popular for quite some time now. Even the MN Daily has a daily section dedicated to dumb shit overheard around campus. This weekend I heard an amazing conversation between two individuals. Here’s the background, guy is looking at local match.com women on a friends account.
Guy 1: “Hey, tell me this lady won’t let you do anal within 20 minutes. Wow is she busted up”
Guy 2: “yeah……….”
Guy 1: “Definitely an A2M kind of chick”
Guy 1: “She’s not bad. From that one pic she looks like 5………ok maybe a 3…….maybe”
You know what, they really aren’t that funny on Monday morning, not funny at all.
I like to spend my Sunday morning watching the Saturday Night Live, and last nights episode seemed to be one of the best collective shows in a long time. JLo hosted and performed and did a very good job.
It started out making fun of the We Are the World Haiti version, a very good topic since the song was really really really horrible. Seriously. Look at the Wikipedia entry for who performed on it. Swizz Beatz, Nipsey Hussle, Nicole Richie’s baby, Mya, Vince Vaughn, and on and on.
The first skit was another in SNL’s line of ESPN Classic. This one is the 1987 Ladies World Cup of Curling sponsored by Gyne-Lotrimin. When you’ve got something fungal down in your lady jungle.
The next skit was Telemundo covering the winter Olympics and wondering why anyone likes the winter Olympics. ”All these sports are on snow or ice. Why would they do this? These are bad slippery surfaces.”
Spoof on the Undercover Boss show using Steve Jobs, Sir Richard Branson, the Olsen Twins, and Martha Stewart. Clever and well done.
What could be the last SNL skit involving the amazing Governor David Patterson.
The last skit of the night was even very hilarious. It involves Keenan using a Shaft type voice to narrating a potential office romance that turns downhill quickly.
But a funny thing happened today, I read an article dealing with both of these things and I really liked the idea. It’s like multiplying by negative numbers!
For this years World Cup (I think it’s this year) the 9 teams sponsored by Nike will all be wearing jerseys made from recycled plastic bottles. A Taiwanese supplier cuts up, melts, and spins plastic bottles into a yarn for the shirts. Each shirt will consist of 100% recycled polyester and approximately eight plastic bottles. Nike is also using 13 million plastic bottles to produce jerseys for fans. In total Nike’s initiative will stop 560,000 pounds of polyester waste from being dumped in landfills. Cool right? Maybe for the next World Cup the can use this technique to make the soccer scarves that white people love to wear. Go Soccer!
So I have this birthday coming up and I think I finally found the perfect gift that you, the readers, can get me. Peep this hot Louis Vuitton bag! It’s basically everything that I look for in a bag, being completely nonfunctional as a bag. First off, I don’t really need people seeing the contents of my bag. Open up the bag I carry from home to work and to class and you will find a bottle of water, maybe some Uncrustables, a laptop, hockey puck, an 8×10 autographed photo of Lisa Turtle, the Minnesota Daily, a SARS/Bird Flu mask, bottle of lotion, a fruit cup and a brand new copy of Speaking to Girls Offline for Dummies. That’s a typical day for me. I guess the other problem I would have with this bag is that there are giant openings everywhere. I think the main purpose of a bag is to carry and/or hold things. This bag doesn’t appear to do that, so is it really bag? Hmmmm, there’s a brain teaser for you.
Welcome to the top 24 and a new format; Tuesday night – 2 hours and each girl performs one solo performance, Wednesday night – 2 hours and each guy performs one solo performance, Thursday night – 1 hour and 2 guys and 2 girls go home. Yes 5 hours, what more could you ask for? I’d ask for better than a 1:50 ratio of decent entertainment to horseshit. Since 4 are going home tonight I thought I’d throw out some predictions today and then recap my favorites from the week tomorrow. In spite of my negativity, racism and sexism, there are at least 5 out of the group that I really like.
As for the girls….nearly all of them blew huge cock on Tuesday night, huge Canadian cock, and by Canadian, I mean black. Nearly all the performances fell into the category of shitty or forgettable. Unfortunately, one of my favorites, Haeley Vaughn had an incredibly annoying performance and is at risk of going home tonight. My other two picks are Janell Wheeler and Ashley Rodriguez.
I thought the guys actually did Ok last night; however, the bar was set very low by the girls so it’s tough to judge. My predictions on the boot: Jermaine Sellers, Tim Urban or John Park.
In summary, I would choose to listen to drunken/concussed T$ and Dr.JBC do a duet of an Amy Grant track at the Vegas Lounge over 19 of the 24 performances this week.
Sorry about talking about music again, but I felt the need to. I was listening to some internet radio this morning and Alicia Keys’ Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart came on. It was the first time that I had heard the original version. The song is a great, but I’ve only listened to a remixed version which I think is much much better. Here’s the version that I have which replaces the 2nd verse with Avery Storm. Which ever one you prefer, it’s tough to argue that this should be one of the best songs of 2010. Sure it’s early, but I’m saying it.
My new shirts from Design By Humans came today. If you’re out Saturday in downtown Mpls, you might see me in the Lil Wayne shirt. The other shirts….. why would I not want one with a giant bear on it or one with a beautiful wolf in a colorful winter scene. What are your thoughts?
I have no ideas of what to post, so I’ll throw some more music at you. I really don’t think anyone looks at this or even gives a crap, but we’re doing it anyway!
We’re starting with a chill cut off the upcoming Lupe Fiasco album. This is a great track to just relax to, perfect listening for my last 2 days at work.
Next we’ll go to Jay Rock’s Life’s a Cycle. Another quite chill track. Jay Rock is very outspoken about being a blood, and this song goes into what he would be if he wasn’t a gang member. He says that he could be at UCLA getting his masters or even his PhD. I prefer the part that says he could be a scientist because he likes trees, or a botanist. Rappers are so funny.
Next, Rich Boy’s Cover Girl. I like Rich Boy. It’s hard to not like a guy who enjoys throwing D’s on things. Again, another very chill song. Here he’s talking to all the ladies, but mostly Egyptians and Italians, and wanting them to drop it down and whip it back.
I know absolutely nothing about Crooked I. I have no idea where he came from or what label he’s on or what set he reps (something called COB which appears to stand for Crip or Blood, and that makes no sense to me). Anyway he raps over John Hitt’s favorite song of all time, Fireflies! If you know who John Hitt, then you probably already know about his love for Fireflies. The highlight of this song is the end when he tries to sing the chorus, which is tough to do when you barely know the words. Enjoy.
Well since I usually overpromise and underdeliver, I decided to go against the grain this evening and actually make a post in a timely fashion. Id like to appoligize for the lack of analysis last week and in return, I’d like to provide you with a spectacular image my esteemed colleague T$ sent me tonight.
Jupa? Junt? Not sure.
So here we go….Week 6 was huge, after lots of tears and hearing “this is it for me, I am meant for this, this is all I know how to do” all night long, we were left with the top 24 at the end of the night, 12 girls and 12 guys. To keep things simple, this week im going to provide you with my favorite guys and girls and provide a highlight from their performances to date.
Girls: The judges keep saying the girl talent this year is the best ever, I disagree but here are my five favorites in no particular order Didi Benami (a pick from week 4), Katie Stevens, Haeley Vaughn (a pick from week 4), Siobhan Magnus and Crystal Bowersox. Since my boss here at rr.com has disabled my ability to post vids, heres a link to few noteworthly clips. (Editor: But I’m awesome enough to embed the videos for you because you’re retarded)
Guys: Andrew Garcia & Toddrick Hall (both picks from week 3), Tyler Grady and Casey James. Heres a few clips.
